x-mess..

i didnt thought i would made it to a post before christmas ..which ist rather christ-mess this year...you know i love christmas...the tree..the presents the warm feeling..anything actually...but this year i dont have time for anything...i m just swallowed by the work..the usual work as well as the book aka THE BOOK...which is my own fault since i actually said i will not do any regular work until the book aka THE BOOK is done...and now sinc eover a month i do both..and more..more usuall work since i started to write a series of columns for a new magazine and even wrote more magazine stuff then usually AND write the book aka THE BOOK at the same time which wasnt planned this way...i hardly have any sleep lately...i rarely leave the house...i see the food deliverer more often then anyone else....outsid ethe world has vanished...its all washed away in its whiteness..and it amke sit easier to feel like there is nothing but my writing..i m the only boy in the world right now...i m cast away on a desserted island....i cant think of anything to blog about since my life has come to a stand by modus where i do nothing but work work work...it makes me sad in a way..i cant blog..i have no time to read....i might have read 3-4 times my usuall blog friends blogs...since weeks i think: okay..lets answer the coments of the last post" but i dont find ethe time....my brain is so empty and yet overflowing..it feels empty becaus ei m so tired..i truly am...and still its so overflowing because its full with my new stories...stories of a kind i would have never thought of..i never thought in ever would write such stories...if my book aka THE BOOk was a picture it was a still-life...a old table..a huge bowl full of dark succulent fruits...dark ripe plums, purple grapes, the blackest and redest cherries, berries about crack and release their sweetest blood....i m heavy heavy heavy in love with this book...soon it will be finished and i m both happy and sad about this..to finish a book is a relief..like a stone falling from your heart...but its also a sad moment...bittersweet..it means goodbye...goodbye to the events and characters you wrote into the world..goodbye to the ghosts you had lived with for the last month..or..rather..it feels to me like i am the ghost and the book aka THE BOOK is right now the real world.....

while i work i did baked cookies the last two days...which means...both writing and making cookies...baking..and while they bake i run back to work...so..here are some pics...the last ones i ll load up before christmas ...i dont know if i can steal the ytime to come to your blog or send an email to wish you a merry christmas...because tiomorrow i ll work AND will cook AND entertain my little family...but..you know i ll think of you...you are in my heart like all of my real life friends are...right now i m lost out there in this world full of dark and velvety stories...i m also lost in the snow white world...but no matter where i am..you are the red thread that guides me back into real life...have a merry christmas all of you....
here are some of the cookies i made...uhm..cinnamon stars..

and thats the world outside...yep..i m all snowed in...