and the winner is....

so,..i took all the names in my (not) imaginary fedora and looked at my fav picture of alicia keys while picking one name without looking and the winner is ...Justine Elyot ...congrats justine..please send me your snail mail addy to desantiago at gmx dot de..so i can send you the magazine...
so that was this...BUT...since i had another! copy of po-magazine in my mail today (yes kristina..number two came back..again!) there will be another winner by tomorrow...so if you comentet already chances are that you win this copy by tomorrow..and if you didnt coment yet you can hurry up and do it now...

if you hop over to the fabolous Kristina Lloyd you can finde out a little bit more about the magazine and the interview i did with her which is includet in this issue...i had a whole lot of fun talking to kristina and asking her all kind of erotic-related things and she really was brave and didnt hesitade from answering me everything...thank you for that kristina:-)

since so many of you comentet for the magazine i m totally tricked into the idea of giving away a free copy of every po magazine i m in from now on..tell me..is that a good idea? are you up for free smut?

so back tomorrow with the next winner

..are you..too school for cool?

i know i know..some people say that i m cool and funny...sometimes magazines write flattering things about me ..really flattering things:-) but truth is..when i was a kid...i was far from beeing flattered by anyone...nobody liked me..i was short, thin as a stick, introverted and i was painfully shy and actually AFRAID of other kids...that kept on going until i was like 13 or 14..until then i barely had contact to any other people my age because i really was afraid of them...i would do anything to avoid contact..run away, hide..stay inside..when i had to walk down the street and pass by someone my age..or god forbid..a group of 2-3 ...i would sweat, my heartbeat would explode and i would almost die...nobody really liked me because i was all nerdy and ..differnet..i liked other things then they liked..i read books all the time...i hated soccer...sports in general..everything that involved getting out of my clothes because i also was totally ashamed of my body....other kids tortured me..because i was ugly faced...i was simply wrong..a insult to the society of the cool kids...of course i wasnt...i was wonderful, smart, i was a beautiful creature..but they didnt know that..and i didnt know it either back then...so it doesent seem strange to anyone that i have a big soft spot for the outsiders and underdogs..i always have more love for the unloved one sthen for the popular ones...i rather buy a drink for the girl with the thick glasses then for a cheerleader...no..really....and i m not alone with that idea..someone else who sees it taht way is the wonderful pink aka alecia moore..i mean damn ..i LOVE pink...i totally would love to get drunk with her and build a pepsi/mentos bomb or anything similar silly...and not only that pink looks like a dude..a dude with lipstick that is...but she also seem to be bale to drink like an irish farmer..and makes might fine musik...especially her new song "raise your glass" which si all about the outhsiders, the underdogs and the so not popular ones..please follow me to:
RAISE YOUR GLASS and let me know what you think.... oh the video starts after a 15 second add for some garbage.:-(

oh..and i have a spare copy..i mean..is that the right word...anyway..i have a copy of the recent issue of p.o.-magazine left..inthere my article about female submission and my interview with the awesome kristina lloyd..so if you would like to have that copy ( even if you dont read german that magazine is full of pics to look at..naughty pics that is) then put your name in my hat by comenting and letting me know how you are wrong in all the right ways..

another late eye candy monday

yeah yeah..i know i m late ..againnnn....but had to work through a few things ..ha dto finish my last pieces before its only the book.."the book"..aka THE BOOK...today was day one and that was all nice..i cleaned the table from all other work...i set up nice tea...a glas of martini...my thinking ball ( a weir dthingie i squish and squeeze when i have to have abreak and think about ne wturns and changes in the plot) ..some dark chocolate as well..the papers with my notes and the photocopies of the researches id did so far..i have the plost for 4 almost 5 stories already...the weather is unexpected mild these days ..i knoiw i know its global warminga nd the small roses which bloom outside are the pretty messangers of the coming apocalypse but still..i try to see the warm weather as good signs..:-)

so..here my contribution to the eyecandy monday...this time its not a picture..no..its a video...a little movie almost...i know this video for a long time and i love the song...and i totally love these two dancers..artists..who go b ythe name of scotty nguyen & tray shibata and who created the choreography and the setting all by themself and created a intimate and seductive atmosphere...so..there goes my baby..enjoy

have you seen lina tonight?

the wonderful may asked me how it is to write a book..if a part of me stays always inside the book..inside the world i m creating for my books plot / storyline..and the answer is yes..yes ...after i gave up hiding from writing its like steping through a door and be somewhere else...no matter what i do now its there..no matter if i do the wash..or go shopping...meet up for drinks ...this wolrd is always ther ein my mind...their voices in the back of my head..especially the voice of my muse number one..she whispers the book title or the titles of the stories in my ear like a mantra...she tells me about all the things she did while she was away...she tells me what she has done..what she has seen...so when i m conecte dto a book its like sleepwalking inside my head..and it even pours into my real life..i do the things that my charakters do..i cook the food they would eat...i watch movies and art they would like to see..i watch at pictures of the cities they are from...i trace my fingers over things they wanna own..flirt with people they would flirt with..wear things they would wear...go to the places they would go to...doe sthat sound insane? maybe..but..a lot writers are insane in a certain way...an di always keep my eyes open to see my muse....i wonder is she in the bathroom or is she smoking a cigarette outside?...i wanan buy a drink for her and wonder if she wants a piece of lime...

late night eyecandy.....

ha..i m late again..like always...but this time i have a
good excuse..well..as good as every other excuse for beeing late i guess...
i ve been busy all day with getting over my book fear...or better say...pre-book-fear..that the kind of fear you feel before you..well I..start to write a book..the idea of beeing unable to write it or to finish it or the fear of having a writers bloc right in that time...well..that tortured me a bit during the last two months because there is a book i have to..i almost said finished!! which would be totally good..if there is something to finish..its actually that i have to write it and get it in until december..hhahahahah....december!!! but somehow it just happened today that i got over it and suddently i think about the stories..i think about plots...old characters and new ones as well...i found a beautiful totle for the book and also started to write the first story in my head...

the whole book will be...erotica of course...but with a dark twist...like small written film noirs and dedicted to a rather female then male audience/readership...you know..that kind of stories with a lot of passion...but also an air of danger arround it...it bit exotic as well...it will be great...my muse kissed me tonight and i hear my favorites charakter coming back...she ll be arround..in my mind..she leave lipstick marks on cup...shoes on the floor...she plays her songs inside me so i can meet here again somewhere in the dark...

so...and since noir and vintage go along so well i ll give you a vintage eye candy again...its so simple yet so pretty..i just love it...its both seductive but also..innocent in a way..or is it just me who sees that?

Purple is the color of compassion today...

Christina Aguilera - Beautiful (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: Christina Aguilera

for this post i pick up a subject that has been in the media a lot lately...teenager suicides...gay teenager that is in this case...i guess its hard to be a gay teenager..i guess its hard to be a teenager anyway...its such a sensitive and vulnerable time...and getting bullied by your fellow students dosent make it easier...


now after several teenagers killed themselfes because they were bullied for their sexuality there is a lot going on...for a much better written explanation pleaso go and visit the all time amazing janine ashbless at : http://janineashbless.blogspot.com

they do say it gets better...and the truth is..no matter what it is that you carry arround..if its your own sexuality like in this case...if it is fear, low selfesteem, eating disorders, drugs or any other things that make you feel like you cant go on...it all gets better...you just really have to sit through it..which of course is hard..but possible...sit trough it..grow stronger...dont let them bring you down today..because it will be better ..maybe not tomorrow..but soon


here are some helpfull links for gay or lesbian teenager in the states:
http://www.homelessyouthservices.org/sylviasplace.html
http://www.hmi.org/Page.aspx?pid=214

women are pigs

did you ever asked yourself how it feels like for a boy???? its hard..i swear it really is...all the women who just use you..the girls with their one track mind...those female players for whom you are just a nice piece of meat...

hahhaa...what a perfect world that would be...from the equal rights point of view...:-)

this video really made my day..which is awsome since a video send by jo made my night..two outstanding ( i try to avoid the word awsome since yesterday..as well as stop writing awesome) within not even 24 hours...i hadnt have that in agessss...