Friday, August 21, 2009

i need your point of view...


i m back! yes i am..after weeks of fun, trips, amusment parks and museums with my two godsons i m finally back here and of course the boys and girls in the basement start to work immediately ( to quote both s. king and shanna)...and what can i say..i need your help...and your point of view...i m working on an essay about the difference between male and female lust...tell me...what do you think what the diffeences are..coment here or write to me at desantiago @ gmx. de

20 comments:

Nikki Magennis said...

Interesting question!

Of course no-one apart from maybe perhaps a trans-sexual could really compare their own lust with that of the other sex. And then it's so hard to seperate what might be social or cultural from what might be innate.

In fact, it might be that you're asking an impossible question there!

But personally - I don't think there's a difference. If you mean by 'lust', desire? No, I don't see any differences between male and female lust. Not quantitively nor qualitatively. I think there are myths about men's sex drives being higher, but in my experience and as far as I can work out from speaking to friends, that's pretty much untrue.
And people like to talk about hormones and bonding and so on, but I'm still not sure that that's sex-specific. I think we know so, so little about the intricacies of hormones that it's impossible to make any assumptions based on those ideas.

Danielle said...

oh nikki..thank you..its great to have you and your point of view here:-)

its true what you say..that we know so little..and usually i keep it with lust as with livers..there isnt such thing as a female or male liver..its just livers..i thought the same about lust...but maybe is lust the wrong word..maybe i should put in the word "needs" instead...what is the difference between the male and female needs..what do we want for real..what do women think what men desire? and what do men think what women want?...maybe i can tickle another pretty coment out of your mind...c´mon enlight me some more..:-)

Nikki Magennis said...

Sexual needs?

But again, I think that depends on the person and the situation.

Sorry, I doubt I'll ever come up with anything definitive on this subject, Danielle! I know what the received ideas are - that women want more emotional connection, that men want more kicks and thrills ... but I just don't think it's true.

And okay, to be perfectly honest, when I was single I had a lot of theories about 'what men want' and 'what women want', but I've been lucky enough to find a partner who blows all those theories out of the water. Maybe that's one of the nice things about love - learning to see someone as themselves rather than 'man' or 'woman'.

Or maybe I'm just all soppy and can't think clearly right now ...

Danielle said...

hm..i think you might are right..because i know as much men in need of romance as women..and i also know a lot of women in need of thrills and adventures...so..maybe one has to finde outwhat kinds of men and women exist before he can answer the question about the needs...

neve black said...

Welcome back!

If you keep emotions out of the deal, I think lust runs like a train that has jumped the tracks for both men and women. ;-)

Oh, if life was that simple.

Dee said...

Ich finde man kann so eine Frage nicht verallgemeinern. Klischee's könnte ich dir nen haufen nennen zum thema was ist der unterschied von Frauen und Männern.

Dee said...

Kann man diese Frage beantworten ohne in klischee's zu verfallen? ... hmm
Ich glaube so pauschal kann man keine antwort auf diese frage finden.
Aber ich wäre nich dee, männerfeind und emanze nr.1 wenn ich nicht auch ne meinung dazu hätte*grins*
Ich denke das der unterschied darin besteht das frauen mehr und anders denken wie männer und leider nicht so einfach gestrickt sind wie die herren der schöpfung. sie sind einfach sensibler, feinfühliger,oftmals taktvoller. Un das ist leider nicht immer ein vorteil *smile*. Frauen sind verletzlicher als männer und sie zeigen das auch. Männer wollen keinen gefühls-mist. Sie möchten klare linien. Romantik und all der "kack" der dazugehört, den machen sie nur mit um an ihre beute zu kommen . und sobald die beute erlegt ist, wird sie meist unintressant.
auch wenn es kitschig ist aber ich las mal was , was einen funken wahrheit enthält :
Wie gewinnt man das herz einer frau?
Respektiere sie , hör ihr zu, küsse sie, halt sie fest,unterstütze sie, beschütze sie, kauf ihr was schönes, liebe sie, geh bis ans ende der welt für sie....
Wie gewinnt man das herz eines mannes?
Komm nackt und bring essen mit!

... mehr muss man dazu ja wohl nich sagen *gggg

Donna said...

Ah, we've gone bilingual and my high school German is failing me! But I agree with Nikki that at the heart of it, we are all the same. Still, the path to that truth does seem different for males and females. I know hormones affect me and my level of desire, so I can't help but think that four times more testosterone would change my views.

Okay, I'll risk being shot down for perpetuating cliches, but I read somewhere that when you do a brain scan, male desire lights up close to the anger and aggression part of the brain and female desire shows up near the (food) appetite section. I definitely feel desire as hunger, but lower, and sometimes when I see that flicker of lust in men's eyes, it does feel predatory.

What do you think?

Anonymausly said...

Zitat aus "gofeminin":

"Es gibt Männer, die sehr wenig Verlangen empfinden und nur mittelmäßig am Sex interessiert sind. Und es gibt Frauen, die sexuell sehr aktiv sind und sich leidenschaftlich für dieses Thema interessieren."

Das ist ja eigentlich nichts Neues.

Aber als ich das neulich so las (und versuchte mich in eine der Schubladen einzuordnen) stellte ich erschrocken fest:

Morgens bin ich ein Mann und abends eine Frau! ;-)

Trotz widersprechender Statistiken bin ich der Meinung, dass alle Unterschiede weder "männlich" noch "weiblich" sind... sondern "menschlich".

Ganz liebe Grüße
:-)

Danielle said...

oh how wonderfull..i just came back from some environment-activism and what do i finde here? so many great coments..i m glad you guys support me with your points of view..am i allowed to quote you in my essay?..:-)))

Erobintica said...

Welcome back - glad you had fun. But missed you.

Hmm. I think lust/desire is ever changing. And individual.

Emerald said...

Hi Danielle! Welcome back.

I love just about everything Nikki said. I have never felt much resonance with a perspective that separates much on the basis of biological/physiological characteristics (besides those characteristics themselves). It seems to me also that in terms of both lust and needs (and almost everything else), each situation and each individual is unique — and even the perspective of the same individual may be different under different circumstances, at different times, etc.

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