a while ago i decided to start a memoir based series of posts...about random memories and imagies in my head..this wont be whole stories..because they arent whole in my head...
ages ago...i was about the age of 7 or 8 there was a old nazi living in the town where i lived. even though he was a nazi he was very into my grandmother and always tried to speak to her even though she never even looked at him. i dont know his name anymore but i still can smell the booze in his breath, see the grey beard stubbles on his floppy, chalk-like skin and the bloody red bows under his eyes
he lived out of the town in an area were only indoor tennis courts and factories were as well as a wreckingyard. he lived in the middle of all this in a small prefab/ready to move in houses. he had set up the concrete tombstones of his two brothers in his front yard on the yellowish lawn. one day, i dont rember anymore how it has happened, he brought me there. there was no heating but a dirty old oven who burned on high power in the kitchen to give a bit of warmth. he showed me his porn first. silly and cheap porn. 70ies stuff. and a book which seemed to be an erotic novel...the title was something like "venus blossoms" (interesting that i dont rember his name but the books title) and he asked me if i already "did it"...he told me about he met hitler during the war or after..and how that was the most important moment in his life...he showed me his altar...with some kind of nazi thing a cross or something...a copy of mein kampf...(something else was there but my fluish head dont rembers today) all neatly presented on a kind of wooden bench..a island of clinic order in this messy house with all the beer cans...with the yellow plastic curtains...everything smelling smoky from the permanently between his fingers tucked cigarette..an everylasting cigarette dying his claw like splintered fingernails in nicotine yellow too...thats all i remember..that and that he wnated me to drink some beer..he often went to the bathroom...i guess i spend the whole day there but then i went away...i rember how heavy my schoolbag was...the wreckyard dog barked at me when i walked on by he went along with me, barking on his side of the fence...when i came home my legs hurted like hell from the far way back to town...and my grandmother cursed me for not coming home after school...i never told anyone that i had been there in that house...tombstones in the frontyard and also inside nothing was alive anymore..