Wednesday, December 16, 2009

its here...its beautiful

play me while reading

the postman didnt ringed twice he didnt ringed at all but when i yesterday checked my mailbox i found a big envelope from the brauns who are the wonderful owners of feigenblat there it was (along with a pretty vintage postcard: no, thats not the g-spot) on life..written with heartblood spread over several pages ....what can i say? the magazine, one if not THE leading german magazine in erotica , is beautifuly edited as always ...great pieces by both known and new writers along with toy-presentations, book- and art-reviews, poetry, essays and seductive picture-editorials....and after reading through it one more time i finally calmed down the storm who was haunting my waterglass during the last days...i dont say i m over it but i guess this will be the last post in which i bother you my dear blogland crew with "subkutan"..i dont know if i ll get all woriied again about it...this story isnt off my mind yet...but i have to move on from bags are much to heavy by i have to let it go...this is my ghost of the former christmas...and i have to change something and move on...i better stop before i go and break my heart...again...

so thank you..lots for suporting me with warm and thoughtful coments and advices when i needed them...

by the way..the dedication under the title means : for x..if x wants it.....

because thats what it is...if you read this..its not only my story but yours too..its us...its whats left of us...


Petit fleur said...


First of all, I love the song you chose for this. It's beautiful.

Would it help you to remember why you wanted to publish the peice? Think back to when you were subnitting it. What was on your mind? Maybe if you can focus on that, you can purposefully redirect your attention away from the sadness and worry.

Now I really want to read it! Unfortunately I'm a typical American. I only read very little Italian, French and Spanish. My vocabulary in all of them is equivilant to that of a 3 year old... maybe not even that much! So, I'd never understand it in German. Maybe someday there will be an English version.

Thinking of you and wishing all the best for you,

Danielle said...

@ petite fleur

isnt the song great? its one of my favorites since quite a while

actually that is what calms me down last night..that i thought why i gave it away to be published..i wrote it already about 2 years ago ..and already published a snippet of it in the the year book of erotica 2007..and since then people kept on sending me emails asking forn the whole text..but i couldnt let it go by then..and then i thought it might be like an exorcism when i publish it have it out of my drawer and off of my chest...

i think that french, italian and some spanish is already a good amount of foreign language:-)
and i guess there will be a english version of it too..not sure when but i m sure there will be one..:-)

so..thank you..lots:-)..for cheering me up and sending me those good thoughts:-)

Mwa said...

Looks gorgeous from a distance! And whaddaya know, in German you have punctuation and capital letters. ;-)
Now I want to read the whole thing.

Ms. Moon said...

Please translate this somewhere for us. Please. Oh Danielle- I am so proud of you for writing with your heartblood.

Jo said...

I love Mwa's snarky comment. And I'm so proud of you.

Danielle said...

@ mwa

well..honestly i dont have capitals and editor has..:-)
i m honored you wanna read it:-9

i posted you an adress for it in the other post..did you saw it?

Danielle said...

@ ms moon

that means a lot to me..:-)

i ll do my best to finde a english home for subkutan too..:-)

Danielle said...

@ jo

mwa is such fun..:-)

thank you for beeing proud..i fell flattered..:-)))

Janine Ashbless said...

It does look beautiful. Kudos Danielle, for being brave as well as talented.

Craig Sorensen said...

Es ist sehr schön.

Du bist sehr Tapfer, Ich denke auch.


Emerald said...

Congratulations and big hugs, Danielle.

Petit fleur said,
"Unfortunately I'm a typical American. I only read very little Italian, French and Spanish."

Heh — wow, if that is considered typical, then I am way behind lol. French, which I took in high school and undergrad, is the only foreign language I know at all (and quite little!). Unless one counts sign language (which I think of as more a "universal" language than a foreign one), of which I also know a little. :)

Anyway, congratulations again Danielle, and I have appreciated your posts on this subject. You mentioned that you suspected it might feel/seem cathartic for you to write/publish the piece. Has it felt that way? And/or did it when you wrote it?


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Danielle said...

@ janine

oh thank you..for coments and kudos an all...:-))

Danielle said...

@ craig

vielen lieben dank

dein deutsch ist wirklich immer noch sehr gut!!!

Danielle said...

@ emerald know i m always up for hugs:-) well as very happy that you have enjoyed my posts about the subkutan piece...

actually i wrote it several years try to deal with my grief of breaking up an dthe rest of the story...i dont really know if i actually wrote it to get it published..but then i published a "mild" snipppet of it in a book and people kept emailing me where they could read the whole text..but then i left it in my drawer for a very long time..i wasnt ready somehow to show me this naked to the peope who would read it...then this year i had several times really bad days..where my thoughts went back to this mind went all the time back into the fire even though there wasnt anything left to safe...and so i decided to get subkutan out of the drawer...and send it the hope that it would free me from the ghosts which are still haunting me about my former lover and me...then suddenly i was really afraid what people wpuld think of me after reading it..abit the sex, the drugs, the drinking and selfdestructive it is out there..i pass it by on several news stands and stores each day...and its okay for hanst be reviewd yet but i ll do my best to keep a cool head and somehow i m really ll be all good in the end...:-)

Jeremy Edwards said...

then suddenly i was really afraid what people wpuld think of me after reading it

Good readers don't read in order to pass judgment; they read in order to understand. And I think your courage and honesty are very admirable!

[I also love the postcard. : )]

May said...

Danielle- My Mama says "Tell the truth and fear no man". Wise, isn't she? Speaking your heart is always scary, but I think rarely wrong. I'm sure it is beautiful, even with sex and drugs and self destructive behavior. Most of us have ghosts in the closet, and the rest fantasize that they do. You are lovely. I'm so happy for you and all your grand publishing.

Danielle said...

@ jeremy

thank you for that heartwarming coment...:-)

those vintage cards a lovely arent they? feigenblatt always send sme one with my authors copie of the magazine..:-)

Danielle said...

@ may

yes..your mom is wise and true:-)

thank you for comenting so nice and making me blush with joy because of you beeing proud..:-)